Conference | Paper

What is really different about the 2nd person? How do the boundaries of belonging start to differentiate shades of groups and sub-groups? I tackle these two questions with data from very early social interactions in infancy and from family conversations in early childhood. I suggest that the answers to both questions point to the emotional connections and conflicts emerging within 2nd person engagements. The experience of seeing, and being seen by, another person as a You is a crucial source of understanding what it means to belong with someone. The recognition of the boundaries of being together, and of the varieties of belonging possible, emerge slowly not only from experiences of being in emotional connection, but from the practices that threaten or disallow connection. From the talk of very young children it is clear that they develop a flexible grasp of the moving boundaries of us and them. This may be particularly pronounced in contexts where linguistic subtleties already differentiate different shades of 'us'.